Friday, February 1, 2008

Then he added, "I will pay you a drachma a day as wages, as well as expenses for yourself and my son. So go with my son, and I will something to your wages." Raphael answered, "I will go with him; so do not fear. We shall leave in good health and return to you in good health, because the way is safe." So Tobit said to him, "Blessings be upon you, brother." (Tobit 5: 15-17)

When Gabriel appeared to Mary he announced, "Do not be afraid."(Luke 1:30) When an unnamed angel appeared to Joseph (Matthew 1:20) he encouraged, "Do not be afraid." When one angel leading a whole host of angels appeared to shepherds outside Bethlehem, his first words were, "Do not be afraid." (Luke 2:10)

Many fear death. I am not yet well-acquainted with death. Perhaps foolishly I am more curious, even welcoming, than fearful. I have a history of depression. As I grow older the depression is likely to worsen. I am not yet fearful, but it is a source of concern.

I fear failure and public humiliation. Like Tobit and Tobiah I am on a journey. Explicitly it is a journey mostly about money, productivity, security, and success (or the lack of each). Implicitly it is a journey of faith. I am self-aware of the implicit issues of love and sacrifice. But despite (or because of?) this awareness my fear of failure seems even greater than Tobit's.

No comments: