At that time, then, she spread out her hands, and facing the window, poured out this prayer: "Blessed are you, O Lord, merciful God! Forever blessed and honored is your holy name; may all your works forever bless you. And now, O Lord, to you I turn my face and raise my eyes. Bid me to depart from the earth, never again to hear such insults. "You know, O Master, that I am innocent of any impure act with a man, And that I have never defiled my own name or my father's name in the land of my exile. "I am my father's only daughter, and he has no other child to make his heir, Nor does he have a close kinsman or other relative whom I might bide my time to marry. I have already lost seven husbands; why then should I live any longer? But if it please you, Lord, not to slay me, look favorably upon me and have pity on me; never again let me hear these insults!" (Tobit 3: 11-15)

Sarah, like Tobit, turns to God in prayer. We know little of their prior prayers. Presumably each engaged in a daily discipline of ritual prayer. Each is apparently pushed outside the ritual by insults and damaged pride.

They are both fixated on an immediate source of hurt. That the insults might be a symptom of how they have abused their wife and maid is not considered. Their self-diagnosis excludes how their abusive behavior could be a symptom of a deeper condition.

Tobit and Sarah each come to God with their own solution. They could come to God to better understand their problems. But, like most of us, they are certain of their self-diagnosis and only want God's help with a solution they have already conceived.

The discipline of ritualized prayer kept both Tobit and Sarah connected with God. But the discipline tended - and still tends - to encourage our specific asking and much less listening. It is better to come to God in dialogue rather than with demands.

Where is the discipline that might take us from external effect to internal cause? How do we open ourselves to God's understanding? How do we pray with our listening as well as our asking? How do we put aside our pride and engage God in conversation?