That same night I bathed, and went to sleep next to the wall of my courtyard. Because of the heat I left my face uncovered. I did not know there were birds perched on the wall above me, till their warm droppings settled in my eyes, causing cataracts. I went to see some doctors for a cure, but the more they anointed my eyes with various salves, the worse the cataracts became, until I could see no more. For four years I was deprived of eyesight, and all my kinsmen were grieved at my condition. Ahiqar, however, took care of me for two years, until he left for Elymais. (Tobit 2: 9-10)

I have a cataract in my right eye. Given modern medicine I will eventually undergo surgery and, probably, the "white spots" (literal translation) Tobit also experienced will be removed.

Until then the cataract is an annoyance and a very reluctant blessing. My sight is constantly bleary, as if looking through a greasy smudge on my glasses. Depth perception is compromised. The sun's rays or an ongoing car's lights can suddenly blind me.

The cataract is a constant reminder that I am not in control. I do not, yet, give thanks for this reminder. But no prior condition or experience has been as effective in teaching me about dependence and vulnerability.

Many people of faith will say we are not in control. But most of us are constantly scrambling for as much control as possible. It is as if we are chasing after a mirage.

It would be so much better if our energies were focused on chasing after God. We cannot control, but in cooperation with God we can better understand and more fully engage whatever reality we encounter.